Musings
Was reading the old Catholic Encyclopaedia article on women last night, and it makes me look like a raving feminist. Which is quite funny, but made me wonder about a few things.
Firstly, I need to get to know more women. I don't understand women. I don't know what it means to be a woman. Okay, so we get a pretty good example in Our Blessed Mother, but still. I think hitherto my entire understanding of myself as a girl is that I'm different to all the guys I know. Which is completely true but could do with a lot of work.
One thing I reckon is that the way we love is different to the way men love. I'm not entirely sure, but it seems less definable. I think there is less distinction in women's love - friendship, the love of sister, mother, daughter, wife. It's sort of all mixed up and indeterminate. Even with Him, there's an element of wanting to make it all okay, to take Him in my arms and make things better. Which is complete nonsense, although if He will insist on coming to us so helplessly, perhaps not a surprising sentiment. At the same time, the exact opposite is true. On the other hand, she did just that, so maybe I'm not totally mad.
Then there's the man-woman thing. That I don't quite get. Because a lot of it seems to be based on the concept that because we're emotional we can't make rational decisions. That's not true. We get emotional, acknowledge our emotions, and then ignore them in making decisions. Or at least, we should and hopefully do. At the same time, does anyone else wish that someone would just take them in hand and tell them?
Point being, I have a lot to learn, and I'm not going to learn it surrounded by men. Which means finding women to hang around with. Back in the day, it was straight from your father's house to one of two places: marriage or the convent. It's unnatural to be a single woman like this. Maybe everyone else finds it okay, but I don't. It's... weird.
Sorry... this should probably have gone on me own blog, but wanted to discuss.
Firstly, I need to get to know more women. I don't understand women. I don't know what it means to be a woman. Okay, so we get a pretty good example in Our Blessed Mother, but still. I think hitherto my entire understanding of myself as a girl is that I'm different to all the guys I know. Which is completely true but could do with a lot of work.
One thing I reckon is that the way we love is different to the way men love. I'm not entirely sure, but it seems less definable. I think there is less distinction in women's love - friendship, the love of sister, mother, daughter, wife. It's sort of all mixed up and indeterminate. Even with Him, there's an element of wanting to make it all okay, to take Him in my arms and make things better. Which is complete nonsense, although if He will insist on coming to us so helplessly, perhaps not a surprising sentiment. At the same time, the exact opposite is true. On the other hand, she did just that, so maybe I'm not totally mad.
Then there's the man-woman thing. That I don't quite get. Because a lot of it seems to be based on the concept that because we're emotional we can't make rational decisions. That's not true. We get emotional, acknowledge our emotions, and then ignore them in making decisions. Or at least, we should and hopefully do. At the same time, does anyone else wish that someone would just take them in hand and tell them?
Point being, I have a lot to learn, and I'm not going to learn it surrounded by men. Which means finding women to hang around with. Back in the day, it was straight from your father's house to one of two places: marriage or the convent. It's unnatural to be a single woman like this. Maybe everyone else finds it okay, but I don't. It's... weird.
Sorry... this should probably have gone on me own blog, but wanted to discuss.
- Liturgeist | 12:28 PM GMT
Comments [4]
Dearest, I feel the same way. It is awfully difficult being in this interim 'single' stage. I have just finished reading 'The Privilege of Being a Woman', by Alice von Hildebrand, and I found it very helpful, though I will have to read it again and take notes. It is so hard not knowing how to 'be'.
It's just quite funny, because I'm always the only lass. Everywhere. At least, the only woman (just) who's not still under fourteen or married. Not always the case, but usually. So where do I learn?!?
At which point, we return to holding Mummy's hand, I guess. Three cheers for the Rosary!
Well, you know what I think... Or rather, you know that I still haven't worked out what to think... I still can't shake the 'oh no it'd mean living with a load of women' reaction when I consider religious life. I suppose the only thing to do is have a go and see if it makes sense. Of course, this may mean that being married and thus not having to live with a load of women is the solution for lots of us (yes, hanging about in the interim is horrid)... It doesn't help being academic; don't know about anyone else, but academic life in Britain is still fairly male-dominated, which I don't mind - but I suspect that having got so used to it (in my eight years as a student... scary...) may be counter-productive in the long run. Maybe if I'd been to a women's college I'd have more of a clue. Any Hildabeasts reading this??! Despite having enjoyed co-educational institutions a great deal, I am just now beginning to suspect that there may be somethign to be said for the older system.
Being in the girls' guest house at a monastery for the last week was pretty good, but I don't think it's a long term solution...
Love and prayers to all!
Mummmy!
I really don't have a solution. The idea of living in community with other women does scare me, particularly in a cloister, but I'm sure that they would all be so lovely. I do wish that the women's communities attached to the 1962 Missal weren't so few.
There's a part of me that wants to go right now so I stop wasting time, but I know that I have things to work through first, and I do finally feel like I have a home. And a Confessor! But as Chesterton says, not being of this world, we can feel home-sick even at home.
I do suppose that the Benedictines are able to write letters!
I just don't want to get too comfortable in my 'freedom'.
It would break my heart to leave here - but how lovely it would be to be in constant prayer for the Fathers and dear friends who had helped so much to lead me to the feet of the Lord.
I don't even know if I am called to such - but I do want to find out! The only thing I know is that I would like to promote the Mass of the Ages within the Church.
Jube me venire ad te, Domine!
To think about this brings my heart a piercing joy...
If it was up to me, I would hope to wait until the end of 2008...!
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